This is the personal blog of Adam J. Schirling, the founder and editor-in-chief of Drunken Absurdity, a revolutionary ezine. For the best in alternative literature, poetry, art, movies and more go to This blog is strictly for my personal rants, some dirty pics, and the occasional cool story or sweet tunes.

Adam Schirling's views on fetish and kink: Featured on Classy Fetish

>> Tuesday, January 3, 2012



I wasn’t very old when I realized I was a bit different, sexually.  At 11 yrs.’ old, when most of my peers were glancing furtively at a stolen Playboy, I was sneaking Hustlers and Club magazines from the homes of friends whose parents were much more sexually accepting than my own. The female form fascinated me, its lines and curves, its valleys and crevices, the haunting and primal whisperings of something dark and forbidden.  But, unlike most of my pubescent friends, simply seeing a naked woman wasn’t enough. When I was 14 years old, I first saw the pictures of Betty Paige that changed my sexual thoughts. They weren’t the cutest pics of Betty smiling on a beach, skimpy bikini and bright sunshine. No, they were the dark ones. The ones where she was clad in silk stockings, with a ball gag, and restraints. When you see BDSM porn these days, those pics were quite vanilla. They simply showed a beautiful girl bound and gagged, sometimes crawling or being playfully swatted by another girl-next-door type. Truly nothing compared to the anal prolapse and burning wax porn that fills such sites these days. But that was the whole key to their very revolutionary existence. Before then, despite rare stag films, such images were considered disgusting and immoral. And young Adam viewed them in breathless fascination, his mind exploding with sexual possibilities beyond what was shown in PG-13 movies. My feelings of sexual identity were further blown far from mainstream when at 15 years old; I convinced a girl I barely knew to pleasure herself with a carrot while I watched. That moment stands transfixed in my mind as the day that I knew that mediocre sexual existence simply would not do for me. Unfortunately, and I am afraid to say: as usual, I belonged to a religion that relied highly upon the suppression of ones urges. And for a small part of my adolescence, I tried hard to adhere to the well-intentioned but deplorable practices of my church. I felt guilty for my thoughts on Sunday mornings, though the night before I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend on her satin sheet clad bed. At one point I even made a declaration to be strict about my feelings, and reject such impure thoughts. At 18 years of age, I developed strong feelings for a young, beautiful girl from my church. With her, I foolishly thought, I could achieve that monogamous bliss that was preached from our pulpit. She was the first girl I ever ‘loved’ with pure intentions. Then one fateful night, I happened to cut through the church parking lot with some friends after a movie, and caught a glimpse of her giving a blowjob to a guy in her car. For weeks, my heart wrenched in hatred and the angst of betrayal. But then, one morning I woke up, and ‘IT’ was quite clear to me: That before any religious oath, or supposed moral persuasions, sex is the only thing that matters deep down in our souls. Now, I don’t mean at all to say that cheating is part of human biology, I feel that to be a cop out. Rather, this was the first time in my life that I truly realized just how important sexual adventure was to our very being. And at that point I abandoned my short lived life of morality, and adopted one where accepting ones sexual desires was the first priority. And it has been through this life I have learned much of myself and much of human nature. I have had drunken one night stands, paid sexual encounters with ‘ladies of the night’, drug induced sweaty coitus with strippers in seedy clubs, random and laughably strange sessions with complete strangers, and organized meetings with needy women from Craigslist ads. I am even ashamed to admit that I have had sex with the spouses of other men who just wished an honest encounter. With my age and supposed wisdom now, I know just how wrong that was, but at the time I felt that no sexual experience should be denied. And for every encounter I regret, there are 100 I am confident helped me create the sexual identity I know today. It was through this deep spiritual understanding that I finally cast aside a selfish and prudish spouse, who had no understanding or appreciation of human sexual nature, to find the love of my life: the very first woman who I feel truly respects sexuality. Now I say none of this to brag, or seem a foolish ass, but to affirm my belief that respecting the nuances of human sexuality has helped create who I am as a person. It is ok to not be vanilla. It is ok to like to see leather clad women being whipped; it’s ok to enjoy seeing nuns have sex with midgets, or a tranny ejaculating on a woman’s feet. As long as sexual experiences are approved by both (or all) parties involved, the sky is literally the limit. To judge someone over what they find sexually exciting is the most shallow and ridiculous type of ridicule; even surpassing religious or racial bigotry. As long as the sexual acts in person do not harm anyone (who isn’t willing to be harmed of course), to attack someone on what makes them cum is just sickening. We are a society of people who has been on this planet for tens of thousands of years. We accomplished amazing and impossible feats of science, technology, and the arts. We have put men on the moon, cured disease, created gadgets that would make any scientist of the past thousand years scream witchcraft. But yet, despite all this achievement and enlightenment, we continue to judge our fellow humans for their sexuality. We pass laws prohibiting sexuality we (and by we, I mean the religious right) find confusing or deplorable. And nothing, my fellow perverts, makes me sadder. True Enlightment for us as a species will not come from the next scientific breakthrough, or the newest mind boggling gadget, or the next alien planet we step foot on. No, true harmony for us will exist in accepting all others around us for ALL beliefs and passions, whether in gods, or in the bedroom. We are at the cusp of a brave new future, my friends, and I encourage you all to embrace whatever kink you hold sacred. To love just whoever you want you love. And to take to bed whatever person or persons will make you truly happy.  For when the sands of time catch up to us all, don’t we want to be able to say that we loved, laughed, fought, AND fucked without any reservation at all? Go forth, friends, go forth into perverted Nirvana, and do not stop for a second to worry about the judgment of your fellow man. For us all, at the end of eternity, just wish to be happy and loved.

to see more amazing content on all things kink and fetish, and more of this lovely lady, Ms. Alexis X. Jakobs: check out her site Classy Fetish


HeyLadyLove January 8, 2012 at 4:48 PM  

I may be biased but this is a GREAT article!

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New England, United States
Freelance writer and poet. Founder and Editor in Chief of Drunken Absurdity. President of Drunken Absurdity LLC

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