Happy Festivus!
u tell em hank
>> Tuesday, December 21, 2010
"Don't tell me what to feel. All my fuckin' life people have been telling me I do things wrong, I'm always the fucking asshole, and I look around and I see everyone else is infinitely more fucked- up than I am."
aaaand
>> Monday, December 20, 2010
march 12 providence, rhode island bright eyes. never seen live, should be great
Sofuckingstoked
feb 18 worcester, mass....gonna see thursday play for the first time since 2004. fucking, yes
Holy Fuck......
>> Saturday, December 18, 2010
This site hit the 10,000 views mark today....who the fuck are you people???? Well, to re-introduce myself, I am Adam Schirling, and I will one day be one of the great American novelists and poets....or a homeless alcoholic frozen to death in some back alley. Either way, something will happen...
Read more...much to do
>> Thursday, December 16, 2010
if this adventure is to have any plausible return. time to write and write and write until it spews from my eyes and ears. no distractions save the usual: tattoos, alcohol, and fucking. need to get serious now. need to change the world one fucked up line at a time. force your style upon them. transcend the posers. embrace the lifestyle. write and write and write. gain momentum. win. don't let the swine take you
Read more...new drinks
the first sip
of a new alcohol
is not unlike
the first kiss
from a pretty girl
you have coveted
for a long time
shocks you at first
strong and bold
makes your eyes water
and knees weak
then the warmth comes
rolls down your throat
into your gut
spreading a thick wave
of pleasent heat through
your whole body
your mind wanders
and you recall other first
kisses
some disgusting and cheap
and others beautiful and
elegant
some sexy and dangerous
and some
just welcoming
all are important to
who you are now
I glance down
into this glass
and close my eyes
and my lips tingle with anticipation
of another kiss
a bitter taste
>> Monday, December 13, 2010
the sweet stench of betrayal is string in my nostrils these days. The very institution that I have given so much of my blood sweat and youth to, at the first oppurtunity, has thrown me to the wayside to be pecked at by the vultures in the bitter New England cold. No more can I suffer these injustices. No more can I stand idly by while people I despise profess to do 'whats best for me'...7 years completely wasted. I should have just gone to community college and sold drugs.
I can not, will not, take anymore. Fuck them. I will give only the minimum effort to sustain myself until the end of this nightmare comes. Never again will I shed a drop of sweat for these charlatans. Betrayal. Bitter betrayal. Belief system bleeding and dying on the floor, while people walk by indifferent. I am only concerned for my own survival. Theyve taken enough from me......
>> Sunday, December 12, 2010
sometimes you have to wash off the paint to reveal to the world the jackass underneath-kenny powers
this quote means very much to me these days. the schirling has been a horrible person to people that love him.the schirling has been selfish, and he deserves the awful things that may very well happen to him at this point. the truth is he deserves to be alone ane miserable and to suffer the pain he has inflicted upon others. this is his last hope at redemption, and he knows it all too well.. i commmit myself fully to this, and buk's observation that if you know you are losing your soul, then you still have a soul left to lose.......this weighs heavily on his mind. i hope it is not too latte....
Rome is burning....
the road is forking...
>> Friday, December 10, 2010
it looms ahead of me in the not so distant future...a big fucking offramp. to stay straight is to accept reason and order and adherence to cultural standards in my life. I will become a harmless drone. I will stop rebelling against all that has been shoved down my throat for years. I will fondly remember years from now the times when I lived according to my own will and my actions were dictated by whim. yes this highway is safe...warm...comfortable....chance of dying old and surronded by loved ones high.....but then there is this offramp coming. I have seen the signs for miles. its presence can no longer be ignored. this offramp offers me my last chance to veer of this path of the accepted and blissful. its a sharp turn onto a unlit and unpaved road that I am not sure goes anywhere at all, perhaps even straight over a cliff....i cant ignore this offramp. i cant ignore what i feel to be my destiny. i cant become one of them. to stay on this road is certain philosophical and emotional death. my hands shake on the steering wheel now, the turn ahead of me...do i have the courage, the fortitude, the true fucking grit to grin and give the uncertainy of fate the finger. i do my friends. i should have known all along this safe higheway isnt for me. the fact that i am naked in this car with a case of whiskey and stack of pornos on the seat next to me shouldve been my first hint. grinning now, I step on the gas,.....fuck it. lets do this....
Read more...enough is enough
>> Thursday, December 9, 2010
Give me strength today, WSB.......
"I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them. I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits." — William S. Burroughs
Big Uncle Buk.......I fucking love you
>> Tuesday, December 7, 2010
my homework assignment
>> Sunday, November 21, 2010
Read more...
Acceptance without Resignation
>> Thursday, October 14, 2010
half the point of this blog is my obsession with the concept of Absurdism. a philosophy brought to modern attention by the genius algerian Albert Camus, even though he shunned the title later in life. basically the answer to nihilism that us as humans will constantly search for a meaning of life, while such meaning is impossible to find with our mere human perception of the dark, cold universe. hence: absurd. but the point isnt to despair with this revelation, but to rejoice in the relief that it is pointless to find meaning, and to embrace the ridiculousness of it all.
this had a great impact on me when i first discovered the writing of old albert. in his words, the absurd "struck me in the face". it was this moment when i first stopped trying to be normal, or whatever the fuck normal is. when i first stopped feeling guilt over my desires and perversions and drinking habits. when i embarked on a new path in life focused on embracing the absurdity of our human condition. most of this embracing involves alcohol mostly(obviously). to me booze is a celebration of this concept. not just a medicine to ease the brutal reality of the modern world, but an ambassador to the world of the absurd. the 12 steppers who spout off that you can have just as much fun without booze should be dragged by the ankles to the town square and locked into stocks. this myth is such a trendy lie in our country, and i am sick of it. you can always have fun sober, but anyone that says that they have MORE fun in that despicable condition. sweet beautiful alcohol will always be there to take you along that absurd path.
dont despair over our solititude in a uncaring galaxy. dont cry over unanswerd prayers. smile, drink, fuck, fight, laugh, jerk off, do drugs. do what you need to do. but do it to celebrate our damned path.
"don't wait for the Last Judgement, it takes place everyday"-a.c.
Between the Sheets
>> Wednesday, October 13, 2010
1 part Brandy
1 part White rum
1 part Triple sec
dash of Lemon juice
Shake all the ingredients with the ice. Pour into a cocktail glass.
truth
there really isnt much to say
when you realize
that the world isnt for you
there isnt much to cry about
when you realize that
you will never be
one of them
there isnt much to do
when it becomes clear that
the people
and things
and places
that make up your daily life'
fill you to the brim
with utter disgust and hatred
there isnt much to worry about
when you stand on the outside
and look in on the world
spinning and laughing without you
you can smile
and walk amongst the crowds
but there is the truth
that you are beyond it all
always in your mind
This chick is awesome...
>> Thursday, September 30, 2010
Indeed. here is a sample of her awesome words....
Slowly, with each passing stride of my hand and every slice from the pristine blade gliding through the soft flesh at my disposal, I find my joy exponentially increasing. They can cry, as they always do, salty tears of painful sorrow and regret, shattering on the ground like tiny glass pearls falling from a broken necklace- magnificent in it's absolute, pure natural beauty. Rich crimson flows gracefully from the precise incisions, strategically placed to ensure a long lasting torment. I find myself ecstatic, barely able to keep my delight contained- jubilant with anticipation of my next move, as if I were playing chess with an indubitably unwilling opponent, and about to strike- taking out his most powerful defenses, leaving him exposed and weak- toying with him with every intentional move until he is begging to be relieved of such agony. Elated by his request, I might fulfill his last wishes, but then what would that make me? A mercenary? Oh no- I am no mercenary. I am just your conventional acquaintance, your neighbor, your friend. No mercenary. His pleads will go unanswered, as I am not quite finished, and don't plan to be. Read more...
Bunch of shit comin up.....
"When I have inspired universal horror and disgust, I shall have conquered solitude."
"Personally, I think that the unique and supreme delight lies in the certainty of doing 'evil'–and men and women know from birth that all pleasure lies in evil."- charles baudelaire
This motherfucker is a genius....
Cougar Hunt
>> Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I called her on the phone, and she touched herself...
>> Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Paradise City.....
back at it motherfuckers...
>> Wednesday, September 8, 2010
so fucking true....
>> Sunday, June 13, 2010
you fuck
>> Friday, June 11, 2010
I hear you
while I am sitting at my desk
your sirens call
your beautiful smell
hits my nostrils
delicious and painful
beautiful and disgusting
you bring the numb
the beautiful numb
but it's not the same
no more beauty
no more laughs
no more fun
just survival
i drink you alone
and dream of better times
when there was friends
and wives
and family
but they are gone now
it's just me and you
let's get this over with
already
i fucking wish
chasing the buzz
>> Friday, June 4, 2010
I miss
the days
when a small amount of drink
would take me away
blur my vision
make my words stumble
those precious few sips
make my head spin
make the most boring night
a crusade into the unknown
Now, alas, it is but a memory
so much booze
bottles gone
And still i sit here
able to function
I want to be comatose
I hate chasing
the buzz
Drunken sex
has lost its appeal
no more sweaty thrills
in dark rooms
taking my breath away
Now just routine
a daily rutual
open the bottle
pour the lies
drink
repeat
no good
the chase continues
I can never go back
to those days of
youthful zeal
In survival mode now
The booze lubricates
this damning process
Fucking tragedy
this sudden tolerance
But I keep trudging along
How long could this
insanity last?
you have.....
ooohhh Robin,,,,,,,
i fear change
The Crusade (originally posted to Alternative Reel on 4 May 2010)
>> Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Why fight it???
>> Sunday, May 2, 2010
My Fortress of Schirlingtude
Aqua Vitae
>> Friday, April 30, 2010
Go bro go
>> Thursday, April 29, 2010
The smell
That salt air
Calming
Soothing
I catch the scent
All day long
I need it
That cool shock
The thrill
Of feet leaving
Dry land
Stepping into
A different world
Stepping into liquid
The surf wax fills my nose
There is nothing
Between me and
The continents
But the ancient
Of ancients
This abyss
My board slides through
The glass
I need this
My daily baptism
My constant redemption
It keeps
The demons at bay
I look back to the shore
That other world
I smile
Im safe
For now
Read more...
hello friend.....
Fuckin outta control. not enough beers in the world. Not enough at all. Ignore the fear. Ignore the worry and apprehension. The juice is worth the squeeze. Always. Who the fuck wants to be 90? Shitting my pants in some VA hospital while some young kid pretends to care. I was that kid once. 19 years old and wiping the ass of some cranky old vet. God, how we come full circle. Just waiting to get off work so I could have a few beers and a pizza with my friends. Who knew that temporary pleasure would turn into a medicinal therapy into a necessary evil. Addiction? HA! hardly. Fucking part or life. Everyone is addicted to something. Wether it love, booze, smack, fucking, fast food, strippers, church, or the gym; we are all slaves to some master. At least I am friends with mine. Old friends. A true friend, the bottle doesn't leave me. Doesn't fight with me. Doesn't judge me. Is ALWAYS there when I need it. We should all be so lucky to have such good friends. I am content with my friend.
Read more...Lunchtime
>> Sunday, April 25, 2010
Bottle of good bourbon. 49.95. The label claims its from a single barrel poured on 22 March by hand from barrel #377, and rated at 93 proof. A lot of words that equals me embracing that wave of pleasure. Delicious. Can't stop listening to obscure late 90s punk rock. Sounds of my youth. Memories flash with every burning sip. Amazing, the powers of recollection when the fire of such good booze burns deep. My gods, has it been that long? I feel like I am looking at a slideshow of laughter, awkward sexual encounters, blind friendships, and unrelenting hopes. Such good whiskey. Smooth, hints of vanilla and coffee. I can almost smell that desert air. See that ambition, FEEL that earnest of wants and desire. So stupid. So trusting. Random girl in the passenger seat of my truck. Who is she? Doesn't matter, she is a reoccurring character who is always played by a different actress. You know, like the wife from Fresh Prince. Well, except young and white and attractive. Fuck. Damn good hootch. if this was lunch, what could ever be for dinner?????
Read more...