the road is forking...
>> Friday, December 10, 2010
it looms ahead of me in the not so distant future...a big fucking offramp. to stay straight is to accept reason and order and adherence to cultural standards in my life. I will become a harmless drone. I will stop rebelling against all that has been shoved down my throat for years. I will fondly remember years from now the times when I lived according to my own will and my actions were dictated by whim. yes this highway is safe...warm...comfortable....chance of dying old and surronded by loved ones high.....but then there is this offramp coming. I have seen the signs for miles. its presence can no longer be ignored. this offramp offers me my last chance to veer of this path of the accepted and blissful. its a sharp turn onto a unlit and unpaved road that I am not sure goes anywhere at all, perhaps even straight over a cliff....i cant ignore this offramp. i cant ignore what i feel to be my destiny. i cant become one of them. to stay on this road is certain philosophical and emotional death. my hands shake on the steering wheel now, the turn ahead of me...do i have the courage, the fortitude, the true fucking grit to grin and give the uncertainy of fate the finger. i do my friends. i should have known all along this safe higheway isnt for me. the fact that i am naked in this car with a case of whiskey and stack of pornos on the seat next to me shouldve been my first hint. grinning now, I step on the gas,.....fuck it. lets do this....
2 comments:
I worry that the offramp is leading straight to your death.
indeed...but i would rather die at 50 living the life i am meant to live than 80 a miserable man wracked with regrets
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