This chick is awesome...

Jennifer Johnson, an awesome new talent.

Drunken Absurdity: Tell us about yourself

JJ:

I was born and raised in Las Vegas, NV- and have loved every minute of it. I love the fast paced life style, and how no matter what time it is, I can get a cheeseburger. I started writing when I was very young, but never pursued it much, even though it always made me feel better, no matter what I was writing about. I have two pups and a kitty, and I just hope they love me as much as I love them. I really hope everyone can enjoy what I have to say, whether they may agree with it or not. I love a good challenge- so bring it on.

Indeed. here is a sample of her awesome words....

Slowly, with each passing stride of my hand and every slice from the pristine blade gliding through the soft flesh at my disposal, I find my joy exponentially increasing. They can cry, as they always do, salty tears of painful sorrow and regret, shattering on the ground like tiny glass pearls falling from a broken necklace- magnificent in it's absolute, pure natural beauty. Rich crimson flows gracefully from the precise incisions, strategically placed to ensure a long lasting torment. I find myself ecstatic, barely able to keep my delight contained- jubilant with anticipation of my next move, as if I were playing chess with an indubitably unwilling opponent, and about to strike- taking out his most powerful defenses, leaving him exposed and weak- toying with him with every intentional move until he is begging to be relieved of such agony. Elated by his request, I might fulfill his last wishes, but then what would that make me? A mercenary? Oh no- I am no mercenary. I am just your conventional acquaintance, your neighbor, your friend. No mercenary. His pleads will go unanswered, as I am not quite finished, and don't plan to be.

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nightmare

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First Blood final speech

First Blood Final Speech - The best bloopers are here

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Bunch of shit comin up.....

Rhode Island International Horror Film Festival

Beervana Craft Beer Festival

my boy Fraz's bachelor party

the Great International Beer Festival

Newport winery tours/tasting

Interviews with numerous motherfuckers

Staying a night at the Lizzie Borden Murder House

All events will be skillfully covered in true gonzo drunken fashion, and reported on here(probably with a hangover). enjoy. It's a celebration bitches

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Just a couple of kids who like to fuck, trying to make it honest...

the schirling and his dame

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"When I have inspired universal horror and disgust, I shall have conquered solitude."

"Personally, I think that the unique and supreme delight lies in the certainty of doing 'evil'–and men and women know from birth that all pleasure lies in evil."- charles baudelaire

i love this man. poet,essayist,pervert,drug addict,debtor, and fucking incredible wordist.

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This motherfucker is a genius....

Horror Sleaze Trash is the brainchild of an Australian dirty fuck, who may be my kindred soul. ben smith has become is a ambassador of the fucked, an inspiration for filth, and my friend. he was awesome enough to post some of my retarded shit on his amazing press, and the works on the extremely perverse/talented/fucked/amazing alike. he is an artist in the true sense of the world, and if any of you have something bad to say, you face the drunken wrath of the Schirling. check it out for some true fuckin enlightment

http://www.horrorsleazetrash.com

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Cougar Hunt

The Dirty Old Whore Made Me Do It!!!!!!

Old, too old

he thought with a shake

of the head

she sat on the edge

of the bar

a bit too much makeup

lipstick stain on

the rim of a glass most likely

filled with a cocktail

that younger sluts would dare

not order

she glanced at him

sly sexuality oozing

from bright eyes

no, he thought...

one of these college bitches

would be sure

to wet his dick tonight

he ignored the seductive longing

being shone across the bar

at delved into his scotch

many more later

the spinning stopped

he was in a dark bed

satin sheets that smelled faintly

of lavender

and the cougars mouth was upon him

her warmth on him

and took his manhood

into her very soul

who knew, he thought..

there is treasure to be found in

old pussy

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I called her on the phone, and she touched herself...

Have you ever wondered of the history of phone sex?? When was the first nasty conversation? Did the operator listen? Maybe she touched herself too. Would the other operators find that awkward, or maybe they did it too. What is our fascination of masturbating while a seductive voice whispers to us from the abyss? The first phone sex line didn't come about until 1980, so that means for at least 80 years someone was having filthy conversations, most likely with a rotary phone. Vintage porn proves that our perverted forefathers were just as degraded and sick as we are now, that is for sure. The thought of these stuffed shirt pre-ww2 folks sneaking off to parlor rooms to play with themselves while whispering to a girl wearing a complicated dress makes me fucking grin. I love that most Americans will argue that we are now in the most perverse of times, but in fact sexual fetish is part of the human condition and will always be.

So, drink, dial, and get off!!!

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The Paradise City.....

I mark my triumphant return to the world of public degradation with a mission statement of fuckin sorts. This blog will no longer be just a source of my rants and raves, though those will stay a prominent role. No, my newly assigned calling is to be an Ambassador of Filth. A man who will delve into the dark underbelly of this rotten fake society and mingle with those who see the dregs of this world on a daily basis, while still searching for the perverse beauty of it all. Many interviews will be coming. Tattooists, bartenders, strippers, hookers, drug dealers, underground punk bands, spoken word poets, starving artists, meth addicts, and morticians. All those who contemporary America would rather silence forever will be brought to the limelight by my investigations. Reviews will come too; of bars, shows, poetry readings, indie films, porn conventions, and the likes. It is my sacred duty of a fucked soul with a sharp toungue to find out what makes some of us run screaming into the dark embracing folds of subcultures and countercultures.

stay tuned bitches. the floodgates have been opened

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back at it motherfuckers...

SCHIRLING IS BACK!!!!

been a rough few months. gettin back in the groove of shit. look for tons new poems, drunk pics, rants, raves, porn, interviews, reviews and overall asshole shenanigans soon.

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