scum
Let us address a particular disgusting breed of people.Straight Edge. What a bunch of fucking tools. I do not care if you shit ivory, if you do not drink, then I don't even want to ever see your face. You can tell a lot about a man by what he drinks. It is a test of a man's true character. The type of booze you indulge in is an actual insight into your spiritual fortitude. Drink skunk beer and cheap shots, you are obviously a slovenly breed of trash that has the palate of an ashtray. Drink nothing but 300 dollar scotch and champagne, you are a stuck up arrogant fuck. A true drunk, the actual connoisseur, is a man who know how to differentiate the levels of sophistication in his drink, to tell good from bad and make the educated decision as to the proper balance of quality and price. If you abstain from alcohol, you are a non-entity in my book, and deserve the lowest level of hell in Dante's inferno....
I make it my life's mission to to reveal these scum for what they are, disgusting bottom dwellers who should be licking the floor of a peepshow. fuck you pretentious fucks, right in your hate-edge asses.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."
"The Road of Excess Leads to the Palace of Wisdom."
wise words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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mindfuck
Vaniity is the stage name of a pornographic transsexual film actress
She was born in Uruapan, Mexico on July 26, 1973. Her family migrated to Sunnyvale, northern California when she was seven years old. Vaniity comes from a large family; she has six brothers and four sisters.[2] She is of Purepecha descent. According to Vaniity, she was a feminine boy who subconsciously knew he would grow up to be a girl; "I dreamed of being a wonder woman of sorts, I have always admired strong women, especially brunette women, I secretly wore my sisters' dresses, openly played with Barbies, played makeup artist & fashion consultant to my mother and sister."
She is currently a pre-op transwoman and does not plan to have sex reassignment surgery. Her main reason for the decision is the fear that she will lose genital sensation and never have an orgasm ever again.
crazy
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Steampunk is a sub-genre of science fiction, fantasy, alternate history, and speculative fiction that came into prominence during the 1980s and early 1990s.[1] Steampunk involves a setting where steam power is still widely used—usually Victorian era Britain—that incorporates elements of either science fiction or fantasy. Works of steampunk often feature anachronistic technology or futuristic innovations as Victorians may have envisioned them, based on a Victorian perspective on fashion, culture, architectural style, art, etc. This technology may include such fictional machines as those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne.
Other examples of steampunk contain alternative history-style presentations of such technology as lighter-than-air airships, analog computers, or such digital mechanical computers as Charles Babbage and Ada Lovelace's Analytical engine.
Various modern utilitarian objects have been modded by individual artisans into a pseudo-Victorian mechanical "steampunk" style, and a number of visual and musical artists have been described as steampunk.
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we support amatuer porn
>> Tuesday, August 30, 2011
The good friend and ally of Drunken Absurdity, Shelby Devine, making her amatuer porn debut
HOT TATTOOS BIG TITS POV BLOWJOB - SHELBY DEVINE brought to you by PornHub
back in business
>> Monday, August 29, 2011
Thanks a fucking lot Rhode Island, for letting that tiny bullshit storm knock out power for 28 hours. Back in power now, but I am holding a grudge.. Read more...
Social Network Sell-Out
>> Thursday, August 25, 2011
So after about a year ago, I deleted my personal facebook because of all the fucking drama it caused at work and in my relationships. But, in the best interest of Drunken Absurdity, and to coincide with our relaunch and taking it all to the next level, I have made a DA Facebook page.
And it kills me to say: a damn Twitter
so now, with my sell-out status assured, here are the following Drunken Absurdity social networking sites.......
Drunkenabsurdity Facebook
drunkenabsurdity Twitter
Drunkenabsurdity Google+
damn.
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FUCKING COMPUTERS
So last night, after Courtney made incredible progress with the DA site relaunch, my laptop shit the bed and EVERYTHING has been erased from my hard drive. Every damn thing gone. LUCKILY I still have all the DA Revolutionaries submissions saved to my email, but I will have to go through them all again and edit them. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
But haters, don't you worry. Some little gay computer virus is not going to stop the Revolution from taking over the online Lit world. That's why it's called a revolution. A movement does just that, moves a certain length, then it stops. But a revolution is always coming back in your face!
We won't be stopped.
September 1st....
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its been a long time coming.....
>> Wednesday, August 24, 2011
adam schirling: shitbag with a bad reputation
very soon buk, i will live your advice
"This is very important—to take leisure time. Pace is the essence. Without stopping entirely and doing nothing at all for great periods, you're gonna lose everything. Whether you're an actor, anything, a housewife . . . there has to be great pauses between highs, where you do nothing at all. You just lay on a bed and stare at the ceiling. This is very, very important . . . just do nothing at all, very, very important. And how many people do this in modern society? Very few. That's why they're all totally mad, frustrated, angry and hateful. In the old days, before I was married, or knew a lot of women, I would just pull down all the shades and go to bed for three or four days. I'd get up to shit. I'd eat a can of beans, go back to bed, just stay there for three or four days. Then I'd put on my clothes and I'd walk outside, and the sunlight was brilliant, and the sounds were great. I felt powerful, like a recharged battery. But you know the first bring-down? The first human face I saw on the sidewalk, I lost half my charge right there. This monstrous, blank, dumb, unfeeling face, charged up with capitalism—the 'grind.' And you went, 'Oooh! That took half away.' But it was still worth it, I had half left. So, yeah, leisure. And I don't mean having profound thoughts. I mean having no thoughts at all. Without thoughts of progress, without any self-thoughts of trying to further yourself. Just . . . like a slug. It's beautiful."
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my paranoia's will run unchecked.....
>> Monday, August 22, 2011
People that know me personally know that I am a man fascinated with the unexplained. Paranormal activity, conspiracy theories, cryptozoology, the occult, sudden disappearances, the supernatural......the list goes on and on. Unluckily my job and distractions the past 8 years have kept me from fully delving into my obsessions with these topics. But September 5th I will be officially retired from job, and I don't start school until December. So the two months in between will be spent working on the website and constantly investigating my insane conspiracies....
it will be sweet. I cant wait to be a crazy bearded combat vet with a million conspiracy theories...
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dover demon, my third favorite cryptid
The Dover Demon is an alleged cryptozoological creature sighted on three separate occasions during a 25-hour period in the town of Dover, Massachusetts on April 21 and April 22, 1977. It has remained a subject of interest for cryptozoologists ever since then.
The Dover Demon was first sighted at night by three seventeen-year-old boys who were driving through the Massachusetts area when the car's headlights illuminated it. Bill Bartlett, the driver, reported that he saw what he thought at first was a dog or a cat, but upon closer inspection realized that it was a bizarre, unearthly-looking creature crawling along a stone wall on Farm Street.
Bartlett continued to watch the creature, and he reported it to have a disproportionately large, watermelon-shaped head and illuminated orange eyes, like glass marbles. It had long, thin arms and legs with slender fingers, which it used to grasp onto the pavement. It was hairless and had rough, flesh-toned skin, described as tan and sandpaper-like. The creature's appearance was very plain, with no nose or ears, and no mouth was seen. The witness drawings portray its head as having a skull shape, forming the contour of a circle on top with a more elliptical ending projecting down to include where the nose and mouth would be.
Other witnesses have claimed the creature had green eyes and seemingly smooth, chalky gray toned skin, three feet tall, and made a bloodcurdling noise, similar to a hawk's screech combined with a snake's hiss. But all witnesses say it had no ears, mouth, nose, or known sex.
The creature was sighted again an hour later, by John Baxter, 15, and Pete Mitchell, 13, as they were walking home. He said it was bipedal and ended up running into a gully and standing next to a tree. The next day, Abby Brabham, 15, and Will Traintor, 18, driving down Springdale Avenue, claimed to have seen a similar-looking creature from Traintor's car, on the side of the road. Brabham's description matched Bartlett's and Baxter's descriptions, except this time the cryptid had illuminated green eyes. She approximated its height as "about the size of a goat". Investigators attempted to shake up Ms. Brabham by noting she said it had green eyes reflected by car headlights, while Bartlett mentioned orange eyes were reflected back to him by his automobile's lights. Ms. Brabham was steadfast in her description.
providence, ri
>> Saturday, August 20, 2011
I don't think this little town has any idea what it is in for when Team S&M roll in as permenant residents on September 1st. The sheer power of so much awesomeness cannot be contained by most places. drunkenabsurdity will straight run this joint.
you fuckers have been warned
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Winning
I got my acceptance this week for Johnson and Wales University in Providence. I start classes in December to start chippin away at my bachelors in Culinary Arts and Food Entrepreneurship. I'm gonna be the next motherfuckin bobby flay. so stoked. Read more...
Old school
>> Friday, August 19, 2011
"There is a monster in my a/c, he wants to get out. Fuck him, I'm a/c boss"- Adam Schirling, July 2010
fucking freedom.....
>> Thursday, August 18, 2011
30 days
you guys shouldn't have fucked with me
now i am free, oh so free.
time to get paid motherfuckers
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godspeed, schirling
As of yesterday, I am officially a resident of Providence, RI. Am I happy about this? Hell the fuck no. I hate that town. If Providence was an ice cream flavor, it would be pralines and dick. The place is the fucking hispter capital of New England. You can't walk a block without stumbling over some iphone toting skinny jean wearing assclown coming out of a cupcake shop, on his way to chip away at his worthless, yet still expensive, liberal arts degree.
But sometimes the juice is worth the squeeze.
I am now a prophet in the land of the eternally fucked Read more...
all is right in the world....
>> Wednesday, August 17, 2011
my brother is by my side, my glass is full of whiskey, and my woman in the kitchen......
Hahahahaha
>> Tuesday, August 16, 2011
I'm so amused with myself. Sooner or later stupid fucks are gonna know not to fuck with The Schirling.
August 16, truly a great day in poetry history.....
Happy Birthday to our deal old Uncle Bukowski, who would have been 91 years old today. The Poet Laureate of the Underground is safe in heaven drunk. Happy birthday you crazy bastard....
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Coming soon: The new and improved DrunkenAbsurdity dot com
Oh man, shit is getting big, I am getting so excited for the re-launch. On the books so far we have new Revolutionaries Craig Scott, John Romjue, Ben Nardolilli, Willie Smith, and Richard Wink sending us amazing poems and lit, and new works from our old friends Willis Gordon and VL Sheridan. We have Tom Butts working his magic coming up with the new logos for the site, stickers, panties and shirts. The new feature, DA Flicks, will feature movie reviews, two so far. And we have interviews coming up with numerous new Voices of the Underground.
ANNDDDD there is a couple of surprises in store too. You fuckers will be rocked.
stay tuned. The Revolution will be bigger than ever. We will show the world that literature and poetry isn't simply the craft of academics and liberal arts hipster douchebags. There is the silent minority toiling in the underbelly: the blue collars, and deviants, and homeless, and freaks, and drunks, and salt of the earth people. The blood of Buk, and Dr. Thompson, and Kerouac, and Tom Waits pumps through our veins. We are ready to unify as a people and make the lit world tremble with our words.
Join, or fall to the wayside dying.
ajs Read more...
seriously???????
dating sites are fucking lame
The main purpose of this blog is to promote my own work as an alternative lit personality, and the work of others I find to fit that bill. But, inevitably, this blog has been a platform for me to rail against those who annoy,disgust, and piss me off. Most of those are well known to you, the loyal readers: hipsters, religous zealots, tea partiers, guidos, douchebags, fat chicks, pascifists, and people who call soda 'pop'. But I have a new bugaboo: The sad and lonely people who occupy online dating sites. Now, that isn't to say that Adam Schirling hasn't fucked a chick or two that he met on Myspace or FB over the years. That's not what we are talking about here, we are talking about the pathetic losers who dish out money to allow some computer database to pick out their new soulmate. Just disgusting. Get a fucking life, you whiny malcontents. You aren't going to find the love of your life when you are hunched over your keyboard in the wee hours of the night praying that someone other than you shares a love for cupcake shops and vintage bicycles. It literally makes me sick that shit like that is a reality in our sad society. Read more...
FOLLOW THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> Friday, August 12, 2011
I don't know who this genius is that created this site, but I pledge my undying allegiance to him.
fuck hipsters. read of this man's fight to keep these fake ass douche bags out of his home...
http://diehipster.wordpress.com/
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badass
Me and you been around long enough that we both shook Sinatra's hand, and there's a code amongst guys that shook Sinatra's hand. ...
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let this be a warning to all who would seek to wrong me:
but Adam Schirling is not the man you want to go to war with. I am smarter, and tougher, and more cunning than any of the evildoers who would seek to destroy me. I didn't want this war, but now that one is on my doorstop, I will never stop fighting for what is right.
Si vis pacem fac bellum Read more...
A glorious reunion....
>> Thursday, August 11, 2011
In 6 short days, my best friend, brother, and long time partner in crime, Big Paulie, will be moving to Rhode Island. I don't think that this lil bitch state will able to handle the awesome power of Team S&M together again. It will be amazing
Yo!!!!!
Hey Fuckers, check out www.horrorsleazetrash.com today to scope an exclusive interview with your humble narrator, Adam the Schirling
Sometimes, just sometimes.....
You find out some shit that makes you laugh so fucking hard you cannot believe it......
Oh god, how Hipsters make me throw up. What disgusting people.
To reiterate: my name is Adam Schirling, and I have drank more beer, and banged more quiff, and pissed more blood, and stomped more Ass than any hipster fucking douche. And if one of those vile creatures has something to say to me, I am easy to find......
......
>> Wednesday, August 10, 2011
there has been much going very well in the past week, so many positives starting to seep back in to all the ugly that has dominated lately. Ive been slugging it out in the shitmud of life, and my perseverance and awesomeness has finally begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel. A major bomb was dropped today, by one of the evildoers, that threatened my sanity and the pleasure of recent progress. The urge was there: to fight, and drink, and burn anyone who tries to wrong me. But I was shocked at my response, not my typical alpha male behavior. I took some tylenol, took a nap, and woke up clear headed with the knowledge that for once, the overall right of truth and justice is on my side. I will not let this ruin the beauty of late with it's ugliness. I will reign triumphant.
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40,000 views!!
Announcing:::::::: DrunkenAbsurdity Productions
>> Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Adam Schirling: Writer, Poet, Essayist.........Filmmaker??????
That is right motherfuckers. I officially announce the creation of DrunkenAbsurdity Productions. For too long I have stood by and watched the pornography of my country decline into tasteless, styleless crap. Porn makers these days need nothing more than a couch, dumb broad, hard cock, and shitty camera. Unacceptable. I will pay homage to the great pornos that used to fill the smut theaters of times square and hollywood blvd. Cheap sets, bad lines, silly costumes, and cheesy music....the whole works. The people demand good porn again!!!! Porn used to be awesome, now it is simpy reliant on shock value much like the horror movies of today. I will be the motherfuckin Tarantino of Anal!!!!!
Our first project: A porn remake of Night of the Living Dead!!!!!!
stay fucking tuned. I am setting a goal of one year in which to accomplish this debut film.
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A call for Drunk Chicks!!!!
For those who care, the work on the relaunch for DrunkenAbsurdity dot com is going amazing....I have commissioned extremely badass tattoo artist Tom Butts to design the new DrunkenAbsurdity logo that will be featured on the site, our stickers, and our tshirts....
Which brings us to......Drunk Chicks!!! The new site will feature a section where hot drunk girls send me pics of themselves rockin our tshirts in the bars, parties, and clubs of New England while they get nice and wasted. In return they will keep the shirt, and get 50 bucks cash money on me to get the party started. I have already sent out a call for girls on Craigslist, and had a great response so far...
Our Craigslist ad
For now, we are just in the RI CL, but eventually start posting in NY, LA, and my beloved hometown Vegas....
This shit is gettin hot. Gonna take DA to the next fucking level!!!!
James Cullen Bressack's: My Pure Joy
>> Friday, August 5, 2011
A few days ago, I opened my mail box to see a brown envelope addressed to me from Sherman Oaks, California. In it contained a screener for the new serial killer flick: My Pure Joy, from 19 year old director and writer James Cullen Bressack. I had first been in touch with Mr. Bressack when he contacted me via Drunken Absurdity dot com to ask if I would be willing to screen and review his debut masterpiece, which he made on a budget of 7k. I gleefully agreed, always excited to watch an indie horror film.
When I first sat down to watch the film(with a good friend, my lady, and a bottle of good bourbon) I kept a certain open mind, as I usually do when viewing low budget indie movies. You expect a certain degree of bad acting, bad special effects, and ridiculous one-liners.....I was, however, left stunned. The movie I viewed was equally horrifying, funny, and enchanting in a way I could not believe. The raw and pure talent oozing from the film, in the form of James's writing and directing, and the acting of Alexei Ryan, who portrayed the main character Adam, was a fucking amazing surprise.
The film introduces us to Adam, a Southern California teen, who was raised with a traumatizing upbringing, and an obsession with slasher films. Overwhelmed with his past, and armed with the creative knowledge of death at the end of a sharp knife, Adam goes to work dispacthing friends and neighbors in a very disturbing, and sometimes shockingly original, fashion. There is one method of attack that I was so surprised, and thrilled, by that I WISH I could mention, but I have promised Mr. Bressack that I will not. I will say that a bladed weapon goes somewhere that I have never seen it gone before in my years of watching horror and slasher flicks. The acting by Alexei Ryan is haunting, convincing, and pure genius. I was entranced by the character of Adam, and equally sympathetic and disturbed by him. The acting of the supporting cast ranged from adequate to very excellent. Mr. Bressack stayed true to slasher movie roots, and added a giant share of teen drinking, drug use, sex, and VERY pleasant to view nudity.
James Cullen Bressack has certainly made himself a force to be reckoned with after this debut feature. My intoxicated group, once the movie was over, could not stop talking about just what the young auteur could produce with a higher budget and more distribution. The sky would certainly be the limit. To view this movie, I would say filmmakers like Eli Roth certainly have a serious force to be reckoned with. His ability to combine terror and comedy, along with teenage angst and behavior, is both refreshing and satisfying. I will also expect to see great things from Alexei Ryan, as his ability to have the audience completely convinced of his honesty is unparalleled in any indie movie I have seen in a long time.
When the time comes, and I hope it comes soon for all you deranged souls, please view this movie. You will not fucking regret it. I am honored that James has chosen Drunken Absurdity as a platform for his marvelous work, and I have already shown film to a select circle of friends, all of whom have raved about it. well fucking done, Mr. Bressack.
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goddamn right
>> Monday, August 1, 2011
Captain Parker's Ocean Ale
found exclusively at Cpt. Parker's restaraunt in Cape Cod Mass.
fucking delish
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"Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors."
— Hunter S. Thompson Read more...
a long wait for true Blink fans...
anyone that knows anything about schirling knows i was a die hard blink fan in my early years, and was quite upset when they broke up in 2004. But then Angels&Airwaves emerged from that to become my favorite band of all fucking time. When Blink said they were getting back together a couple years ago, I was super pissed, I felt that the time for them was over. But, now, 8 years after their last album, this has hit the streets, and I couldn't be happier about it, def a great single. Good luck to them on their summer tour kicking off this month.
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