hiv related hilarity ensues
>> Wednesday, June 29, 2011
i knew a girl once
terrified of getting hiv
as she told me one night
i had met her in a gym
in the late night hours
and now two days later was sitting
with her in my truck
in a cold expanse of desert
overlooking city lights
her talking hurt my head
but she had a great ass, like a ripe peach
so I nodded
"HIV can't survive outside the blood
in the air" she explained giggling
was that true? I had no clue
an hour later her red lips
were wrapped around my cock
but the sensation was off
i peered down and saw her
every now and then opening her mouth
and inhaling deeply
what the fuck i thought
then remembered the hiv in air rule
and got offended
that bitch
but fuck, i realized
who the hell am I kidding
good for her
i want you...
you sexy fucking bitch. fuck getting good gas mileage, it's un-American. I want my fucking Hemi....
Read more...
iphone hipsters be hatin....
>> Friday, June 24, 2011
but i don't give a fuuuuck. get my new phone tomm, the HTC Inspire 4G, the first legit Android set to give the iphone a run for its money. And I don't wanna hear about "oh it doesnt have a forward camera", that shit is gay.
a bit belated.......
>> Thursday, June 23, 2011
yea, i know he was drunk driving, i know he was going 130+ mph, i know his freind died too, and it's all horrible.....sometimes those of us who burn the candle at both ends just take it too far, it is an easy thing to do....
hope you are safe in heaven drunk, bro Read more...
drunken shenanigans
>> Wednesday, June 22, 2011
my lady and her best friend got smashed for her birthday monday. here is some highlights.....
kinu peeing in the sink
my baby holding her hair back as kinu pukes in the same sink
aaaaaaand the two of them spooning and watching "the Banger Sisters" while screaming ' Mojo Rising' over and over again
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my birthday present
my baby got me a 1950s Smith-Corona typewriter in full working order, in all original condition. i fucking love that bitch
Read more...
but before i go....
>> Friday, June 17, 2011
Court and I had an in-depth convo at the store the other day about the nuances and technical difficulties regarding heavy bondage/humiliation porn, and our mutual love of it after reading an interview with Ms. Cherry Torn in this month's issue of Taboo. Ha Ha I am sure the young vanilla couple behind us in line got a kick out of it. thats how we roll, fuckers Read more...
back wed...
sadly not to a white sand beach with a coconut full of rum in my hand. Instead to rural Pennsylvania for some family time with the old ladie's kinfolk. where booze is not allowed. but thats ok, i got my flask! Read more...
holy fuck we are lame
>> Saturday, June 11, 2011
but I do love this crazy woman, with every ounce of my being. for once in my life, i am with a woman who is sexy, intelligent, and can fully make me feel loved and whole. i have been cursed my whole lifetime with selfish, bitchy, prudish, and neglectful chicks who have done their best to rob me of my every dollar and indeed my soul. Only SHE understands my demons, and helps to heal me instead of make every evil poison worse.
and she has great tits and ass. cannot forget that. Read more...
FUCK HIPSTERS
one of my new missions in life is to do anything possible to create hell for you bike-riding douchebag motherfuckers. Read more...
my god, has it come to this??
for years I have strongly resisted the pleadings of women to watch twilight or harry faggot potter. today, a gloomy saturday, i lose that battle finally. I have agreed at the pleadings of my fucking sexy awesome girlfriend, to watch ALL the damn harry potter movies. HOWEVER, two conditions apply: we order an assload of thai food, and I can drink as much as I want. I feel this to be a fair compromise....
who could say no to a girl like this?
IS TWITTER THE NEW FACEBOOK???!!!!????!!!!????!!!!
I have a more important question. who fucking gives a SHIT? I am so fucking tired of Apple this, facebook that, twitter this, ipad that....fuck you and all your hipster worshipers you fucking pretentious assholes. I have a piece of shit Dell laptop that cost 450 bucks, a shitty cellphone that hardly works, and only this blog to rant my views to. And that is just fine with me.
technology is fine. it improves our daily lives in many ways. but enough is enough. fuck all these skinny jean and scarf wearing, rusty bike riding, apple toting, tweeting, amatuer "artists/photogs", sepia toned motherfucking assholes. FUCK YOUUUUUUU.
it's enough to drive a bro crazy. disgusting trendy consumerism at it's worst. god i want my house in the woods, completely off the grid. i don't want to be found.
read this idiot and become even more retarded sheep:
this stupid bullshit
saves the day show tonight in providence
>> Friday, June 10, 2011
fucking stoked. Jimmy last friday and now Saves a week later. good start to summer show season
fucking computers
>> Monday, June 6, 2011
so, my big stupid drunk ass stepped on my laptop and now it's sent off to the maufacturer for repairs. So, new postings to Drunken Absurdity dot com have been temp delayed. fuck Read more...
show tonight in Mass
>> Friday, June 3, 2011
Me and the lady are seeing JEW tonight in worcester, fucking stoked, haven't seen them live in ten years....
SPLATTERPUNK IS NOT DEAD!!!!!
>> Wednesday, June 1, 2011
FUCK YES! Just found out today my short story 'best friends forever' has been picked up by Macabro Xtreme Publishing for inclusion in their upcoming ebook/trade paperback anthology "Splatterpunk Is Not Dead!!!"...best part is, it's a paying submission, will get 40 cents per book sold. Adam Schirling: paid writer, ha! suck it haters. the book is due out as a ebook by end of summer, as a paperback by Halloween.
Macabro Xtreme Publishing Read more...
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